TIGER WOODS PART 8

flash!---bulletin!---red alert!---email!---GPS---spy cams!---video cams!--periscopes!---telescopes!---all ships at sea!---seeing-eye dogs!--twitter!--will the real TIGER WOODS stand up and show your face!---where are you, TIGER?---where are you hiding?

some reports had you in a Buddhist temple in Tibet meditating on sin---other reports have you combing the Sahara desert looking for a new identity---is your body inert, but your metaphysical form is somewhere in Cyberspace Cybersulking?---now that'd be a good one if you could pull it off---or are you sitting on Kilimanjaro promising to return when heavy snow falls---but heavy snows won't be falling because of global warming---My God, you'll be there forever!

look, TIGER, I just want to see you go from current has-been to having been a has-been to Super Star again!---look, whatever you did wasn't your fault!---you heard me---it wasn't your fault!---it was the Great Designer's fault!---turning you into a Golf Legend Lothario---packed with testosterone dynamite ready to explode at any given moment!

you were destined to make a hole-in-one---on or off the course---we don't begrudge you that---we revel in it!---See!, you couldn't help what you did.---blame the Great Designer turning out a money making body that has more money than most guys so you could afford to fool around more than most guys, that's all!---what's wrong with that?

So please come out TIGER---you have nothing to fear
millions are waiting---for you to appear
all your past actions---and infidelity
are now in the open---for everyone to see!

that's why you're safe, TIGER.
am I psychic? No!---clairvoyant? No!---telepathic? No!
but I know the American people---and one thing Americans are good at---is "forgiveness"

we are BIG on FORGIVENESS!

that 11-letter word is our drug of choice!---our national pastime!---it is ingrained in our psyche.

WE'll FORGIVE ANYONE!-----adult beaters--wife beaters--tax cheaters--child molesters
robbers--gang bangers--thieves--rapists--politicians--police brutality--baby snatchers--cowards--we even forgive BAD MOVIES!---that's how ingrained it is in our "let's be good to all"
American psyche!

we forgive killers on Death Row---they keep filing appeals and die of old age!---we even forgive THEM!

Nazi Germany murdered 6 million Jews in WWII---and when the war ended---how many residents in Beverly Hills--Palm Springs--New York--Chicago--Florida--and elsewhere--
could hardly wait to buy a Mercedes or a Porsche and drive in style once again--behind the wheel of German engineering--German design--German efficiency--smiling and happy.

memories of Auschwitz--Buchenwald--Treblinka--fading away ever so quietly--as if the horror scene had never been real--as if the carnage in Nazi Germany had never existed.

see how we punished Germany---WE BOUGHT THEIR CARS!---that's how big this country is on forgiveness!