Thursday, February 18, 2010


so don't be worried, TIGER, about public image and saving face---we forgave Germany---we can certainly forgive you!

OK---so you destroyed your marriage!

------so you betrayed your wife!

------so you cheated on your wife!

------so you deceived your wife!

------so you lied to your wife!

------so you humiliated your wife!

------so you made a mockery of Fatherhood!

------so you had sex orgies--sex orgies--sex orgies--(WOW!)

------so you ruined your All American image!

------so you tainted the good name of Golf!

how lucky you are that it happened in this country!---that's a blessing!---a blessing, TIGER!
at this very moment---you are the ideal candidate---the leading contender---an absolute
shoo-in---to win the coveted "RAT AWARD of the YEAR " PRIZE!---a siver tray holding our most precious habit forming drug.

Don't you see, TIGER---by winning the RAT AWARD of the YEAR PRIZE---the American people---willingly---are handing you---"FORGIVENESS" on a platter!

you'll be in again!---a hero!---a giant of a hero!---like this year's large boxes of detergent soap--you'll be a bigger--better--and more improved hero than ever!

I can hear the crowds now---on the greens---cheering and chanting:


so bring on the paparazzi---divorce lawyers---cocktail waitresses---porn stars---billion dollar Empires at stake---lives and careers hanging in the balance---WHAT A MOVIE!---Hollywood get with it!---this is the Blockbuster of Blockbusters!---the AVATAR of SIN AND REDEMPTION---and think of the sequels---wow!---wow!---wow!

OMG!---whoever thought Golf was that sensual--so naughty--so secretive--so explicit--and so earth shattering a game!

in the meantime---for all you devoted TIGER fans---patience!
no time for backslapping and pouring the bubbly---
TIGER---is still not out of the WOODS---yet!

oh, I almost forgot---2010 is the Year of the TIGER in China---now tell me---how many guys have a year named after them?---amazing---even in China they shout his name!---maybe it's an omen.

and so we have 2 final questions:
"Can a tiger change its stripes?"

Zen Buddhist question:
"what is the SOUND of ONE TIGER changing its stripes?"

hopefully, the sound is contrition---a mea culpa---and a rededication of marriage vows.

there's an old gambling adage:---"always bet on the champ"
so my money is on TIGER!

yeah, OK---so he's mysterious--erratic--a puzzle--a conundrum--and loaded with "weird!"
would you expect anything less?---I mean we're talking

TIGER---the Perfect Poster Boy of KOAN!

TIGER WOODS---PART 10--- the God Epilogue--much later



  1. Whaaaa? Another Tiger Rant? the Ninth? If Tiger survives it'll because he has nine lives!

  2. What do you hear from Tiger's Tigress? She's been quiet? No?

  3. Why does Tiger Woods owe us an apology?

    Let's assume that all the accusations of serial philandering are true. That no waitress was safe from his charms. What right do we, the public, have to be upset?

    Woods never presented himself as a pillar of moral virtue. He marketed himself as a great golfer. His job was to knock balls into holes—which he did. He didn't cheat at golf.

    No performance-enhancing drugs involved, were they?